2023 in the Wilderness (And the songs that carried me through)

December 28, 2023

2023 in the Wilderness (And the songs that carried me through)

In my desperate attempt to survive the wilderness season that I found myself in, I took it upon myself to join John Bevere’s 11-day course on The Wilderness via the Messenger X app.

It was August, 8 months had already passed since we welcomed 2023. And there I was, barely making it through. I started the year with 12 Scripture Declarations for myself which I said I would declare every day until it became alive to me. I would declare it full of hope, and it fueled me throughout my day. But as time passed by, I would find myself feebly whispering the scripture declarations - wanting to ask but never daring to, “Is this really true?”

The wilderness season, John said, was the lack of the tangible presence of God. It is the season when the promises of God seem far off. It can also be a time when you are tempted to quit, to sin, to give up on faith.

But it also said that the wilderness is where God gives you what you need, not what you want.

I look at my scratched knees from all the mornings I knelt and cried out to God this year. They are proof that something is changing. Something is dying. Something new will be born.

I try to recall my prayers but all I see is a visual image of messy tangled ropes. There were nights when prayers had less words and more tears, but it was in those times when I would feel the ropes slowly being untangled.

And when I did not know how to pray anymore, God gave me songs.

Here are the songs that carried me through this season. They continue to carry me through. I don’t know if my personal wilderness is ending. I am hopeful. But if it continues, it only means that God still has work to do in my life.

I am not throwing in the towel. I will continue to trudge on, heavy heart and all. I know I am not alone. So if you’re going through this season too, then I hope these songs minister to your spirit.

Desert Song by Brooke Ligertwood

Living Water by Shane & Shane

As the Deer by Steffany Gretzinger

New Wine by Brooke Ligertwood

(From the playlist I made called Surviving the Wilderness)

On Your Mind by John Mark Pantana

Quiet by Hillside Recording, Diana Trout

Birds by Anna Golden

Heaven’s Eyes by Jillian Edwards

(For my Sad Christian Girl Moments)

Lion and the Lamb by Bethel Music, Leeland Mooring

Victor’s Crown by Darlene Zschech