#SoakingSeason2018 PART 2: More Than Just The Climb

A few things before we start with Part 2:
1. If you have not read Part 1 yet, you can read here.
2. I wrote a quick backstory on #SoakingSeason2018 and it would be nice if you read that too, just click here.


The Climb, the 7 Times I Fell, and the 41 Prayer Items

The night before I left for Antique, I suddenly felt the urge to "collect" prayer requests so that I could pray for them during the trek. I already had the ones from family and a few close friends. But I felt that I was being led to reach out to more people. So I posted on my IG stories that I was going on a retreat and that if they had prayer requests, I would gladly include them in my prayer time.

To be honest, I did not know what to expect. Social Media can be tricky and even if you have good intentions, there's a lot of room for misinterpretation. So I told myself that I'd be happy if at least 3 people responded. Imagine my surprise when one by one, the messages for prayers came in. Some were automatic in their responses, some were hesitant, and then some were quite unexpected.

What was even beautiful about it was that most of them were specific and detailed. The requests varied from healing for loved ones, financial freedom, a good night's sleep, and some interesting ones like"for hearts not to be hardened no matter how many times they get broken," or for a dropped external hard drive to still function. All in all, we ended up with 41 on the list. It was these prayer items that kept me company during all our treks.

(Quick thank you to all of you who responded. I do not take the trust you gave me for granted.  I have to say it also made the trek easier.)

And while it's true that it made the trek easier, it didn't mean that everything went smoothly. The trail was not a straight incline. We also had to walk down quite a few steep slopes, and because it was summer season, the surface of the ground was very loose. So you can just imagine my struggle during these downhill treks. I fell on my bum several times, 7 to be exact. But NO SHAME. Haha As Fr. Jun puts it, as long as no one else sees it, only our bums will get hurt, not our egos. The 7th  fall though was the worst one. First, I twisted my ankle because my foot did not land well on the ground, AND THEN I fell on my bum and in the process ended up sitting down on my twisted ankle. Yup. I could not stand up for a good 30 seconds and I had to limp to the house of Pastor Max after that. (I honestly thought that I would limp my way through the rest of the trip, but long story short, Fr. Jun laid hands on it and it was good as new the next morning. Zero pain at all. God is good.) 

The Sacrament of Reconciliation (And That Majestic Sunset)

Being my dad's daughter, confession for me can get a bit tricky. It's a good thing that the next person to being a father to me also happens to be a priest. I grew up with Fr. Jun. As a minister's kid, I got used to strangers coming to our house and even staying a night or two. Fr. Jun, then Tito Jun, was one of those. But he didn't just stay a night or two. He was there all throughout my elementary days, and to expound on this would require a different blog post altogether. 

Needless to say, it was a very easy decision to choose him as my confessor. 

We reached the top of the mountain where the church was located at around 5:30PM. I told him that I needed some time to collect my thoughts and get ready for the sacrament so Fr. Jun said that he would wait for me at the back of the church. 

This was one of the Major Events of my trip and now that I was already there, I started doubting if I should do it. Should I just forgo it? Isn't this whole trip enough? Do I really need to tell someone else? God and I, we're already okay, right? 

And then you realize, aha there goes the enemy again. So I told myself to get a grip, listened to one worship song, prayed for my heart to be ready at the end of it, and then approached Padre. 

The first words that Fr. Jun let out after my confession were: "Did you really think God will not put up a fight for you? That He would not chase you down?"

I let out a breath and said, "I know. I felt that. I felt Him chasing me." 

The sacrament of reconciliation, he said, is not so much about the "sinner" telling a priest that he/she sinned. God already knew from the beginning that we would sin. Sin is part of our nature.

The act of confession is not about "informing" Him of our sin. He already knows. It's about us, humbling ourselves, and telling Him, "God I need you." It is about us making a conscious decision to turn towards Him instead of run away from Him.

I knew, because of all the sermons and preachings that I have listened to in the past, that I have already been forgiven. I knew of His boundless love, I knew that we just need to come to Him, and He will wipe our slates clean. I knew all that in MY HEAD. I knew it in theory.

But at that moment, I did not feel it. My love language is Words of Assurance, or assurance in general. Like I need something visible sometimes, something tangible, something that spells out the thing that I need to be assured of. And of course, because God knows me more than anyone else in this world, He gave it to me. As Fr. Jun was continuing with his counsel, He directed my attention towards what was happening around me.

Sunsets are generally beautiful. But have you seen a sun set while you are on top of the mountain? When the sky looks like it burst into flames, and then you see the beautiful streaks of purple and pink and it's the most glorious thing ever. And then because you are elevated, you are a bit closer to it so immediately the experience is much more overwhelming.

It was the Mother of all sunsets.

But that wasn't it yet because the best thing happened after that. Just before we wrapped up the sacrament of confession, we were suddenly enveloped in the most breathtaking, surreal, and majestic golden glow. The entire area was blanketed in that beautiful color! My skin, Fr. Jun's face, the atmosphere around us, wrapped in golden splendor. You know how it is when you wear yellow shades and everything around you looks yellow? It was exactly like that. Except it wasn't a filter, it was the REAL DEAL. I was barely listening to Fr. Jun already when that happened. It's as if everything went quiet, everything started moving in slow motion...and then I just felt it, in my heart, for real, that THAT was His gift to me. His "Welcome home," His "Come here and let me give you a hug."

I know I am unworthy. I know I always will be. And yet He goes through great lengths to let me feel His love. Who am I that He would give me such a precious gift?

"God saved you by His grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it."  Ephesians 2:8-9

That was the perfect reminder of His grace, something that I will never earn, but is freely given nonetheless.

I managed to take this photo after confession, but it's not even close.

Fr. Jun then said the final rites in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and removed his stole as the sun finished setting. It had started getting dark, the day was finally done. We still had about a 20 minute downhill trek before we could reach our host's home. Good thing Tita Alys sent us a flashlight. So with that tiny thing illuminating our way, we began our descent talking as if nothing happened up there.

When we arrived at the home of Pastor Max, he was preparing dinner. Native chicken adobo, "Fresh na katay pa to" he said. (I do not know the best way to translate this in English but to say that it was "freshly slaughtered.")

I knew what that meant for people who lived in Manaling. But that would have to be a story for another blog post.

For now let me end with this:

"Come now, let us settle the matter," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." Isaiah 1:18

I slept peacefully that night thinking that I've already accomplished a huge chunk of what I wanted to do for the trip. Little did I know that I would wake up the next morning to find out that God was about to do more.

To be continued...