#SoakingSeason2018 PART 4: The Sea, Those Leaves and The Conclusion

So much has happened since I last wrote Part 3. I met new people. I gained new insights. I struggled with new things. NEW. All new. I am humbled thinking how He continues to change me. Truly my Bible Verse of the Year is 2 Corinthians 5:17 - "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here!"

If you have been with me since Part 1, then wow. Thank you so much. This means a lot to me.

As usual here are a few things before we proceed with Part 4 in case this is the first time you are seeing this.

1. Here's the BACKSTORY of #SoakingSeason2018.
2. Here's PART 1.
3. Here's PART 2.
4. Here's PART 3.

"Today, ask Him to show you just how much He loves you," Fr. Jun said as we were packing the things we would bring to the beach.

Having experienced all those wonderful things in Manaling and receiving His beautiful message and insights, I was pretty much happy already. If nothing "magical"or mind blowing happened there, I'd be perfectly okay with it. I mean, I already had the 41 prayer requests, the beautiful sunset, the message that said "This time you will not fail," (that's in Part 3, still sends shivers down my spine), the opportunity to share my story to some 20+ strangers, a Bible Study with the Youth in Manaling and a bunch of stories about their chickens. I mean - I was pretty much solved already.

In my head, how much more can God show me how much He loves me?

This was my agenda at the beach:
1. Fast til 3PM
2. Be still.
3. Worship in between being still.
4. Read Francis Chan's Crazy Love book when I need a break from #2 and #3.
5. Break fast at 3PM.
6. Swim at the beach by 4PM.
7. Catch the sunset.
8. Go home.

Fr. Jun and I first drove to a beach in San Jose where we found a little cottage to settle in. Tita Alys prepared a thermos of hot coffee for us and some sandwiches, but I was determined to finally do my fast so I just had the coffee. I was listening to music while reading from my devotion but I noticed that padre was getting restless. Finally he told me that he did not like the vibe in that place. He felt it was too noisy. Since I was so lost in my own little world, I told him that I didn't get that vibe. Still he was insistent and said that he wanted to transfer.

I was so settled in already, but if he wanted to transfer then okay. We packed our stuff once more and rode the multicab to the resort of Dcn. Nonoy located in Hamtic. This was a good 10 to 15 minutes away.

Immediately, I saw Fr. Jun's body language change from tensed to relaxed the moment we arrived. I saw the difference as well. In San Jose, people were passing by us all the time. In Hamtic, specifically Shekaina's Resort, we had the place all to ourselves.

Thank You, Lord, I thought to myself. We're going to have such a beautiful day together, You and I. 

With all the excitement I had in Manaling, I was looking forward to some quiet Him & me time. I was so eager to meet with Him, be still with Him and just bask in His presence. This was the REAL soaking.

I grabbed a monobloc chair, got my stuff and went to the beach front. I told Father Jun that I won't be talking to anyone else and that I will be eating at 3PM so they don't need to check on me.

The energy was ripe for soaking as I settled by the beach front. With the cool sea breeze, the intoxicating sound of the waves, and the overall stillness of the area as my backdrop, I excitedly met with Him.

There is so much to be said about just being quiet as you enter into the presence of the Lord. During my regular prayer sessions, my mind would always be racing. It would constantly scan my prayer database for things to lift up, people to pray for, Bible verses to utter and include in the prayer, and sometimes it will even do a grammar check.

But in soaking, none of those happen.

I start with closing my eyes and taking in a few deep breaths. Then I quietly start praising Him.

Thank you, Father. You are worthy to be praised. Help me enter into Your presence. I am Yours, and this time is ours. Let me enter into Your presence. 

The moment I feel my spirit soar and start getting goosebumps in my arms, I know I'm in.

Hello, Father. I know You're here. 

And then it's just stillness from there. No words. I can't exactly describe what happens but I do know that I would catch myself smiling every now and then. When my reverie would break, I'd start speaking in tongues or just listen to a worship song.

For this particular session, I chose John Mark McMillan's Live at the Knight. His music isn't exactly the "relaxing" kind, but the passion and intensity in his songs actually really helps me enter into the presence of God.

Especially his song How He Loves Us. Personally, I feel like it's one of the most beautifully written songs about how God loves us. It's poetic, with lines such as "If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking," and "Love's like a hurricane and I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy."

It's visual, it's powerful, and it has brought me to tears quite a few times. That morning was no exception.

His love was thick and deep where I was, and I felt it. My heart and spirit kept soaring and there was nowhere else on earth I wanted to be except for where I was at that exact moment.

Except that the sun was getting high up and the heat was finally starting to bother me. Toink.

So I moved back a little to catch the shade. After 10 minutes, the sun would go higher and then I'd have to move back a little bit again.

Finally found shade behind a bangka. But the sun would eventually catch me there still.

See where the shade ends and the sun's heat starts? Eventually it was all sun by the beach front. 

Finally it was 11AM and there was zero shade up front already so I decided to go back inside the resort. When I turned around, this was waiting for me inside.

FOOD! (But my fast was far from over it was only 11AM.)

I politely told Dcn. Nonoy that I was fasting (at least I knew he would understand) but that I would gladly eat the ham and bread by 3PM. I was also grateful for the Sagada Brewed coffee that he brought with him - I decided that was not included in my fast and that I could have that. Haha.

Because the table was already set-up there and it was underneath a tree, plus I could still see the sea from where I was seated, I decided that I would continue my meditation there. 

"I have an airconditioned room for you. By 2PM it will be so hot everywhere, you wouldn't be comfortable anymore," Dcn. Nonoy offered.

I politely declined and told him that I would just figure it out later on and that if it did get too hot on my spot, I will tell him.

He said it would, for sure, so he'll prepare the room anyway. 

SPOILER ALERT: It never did. 

Let me explain. This is the highlight of my trip.

Remember how Fr. Jun told me at the beginning of my day that I should ask God to show me how much He loves me? Well, I felt the love when I was at the beach front. And to be honest, I was so okay with that already.

But Fr. Jun's words were specific, he said "Ask God to show you how much He loves you."

You know how we get small-minded sometimes and you don't really expect God to VISUALLY give you a message? That was me. 

But alas, His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His ways are higher than our ways. 

Way higher, actually.

View from my spot.

So I was sitting down, enjoying the shade, staring into the sea. Just basically blanking out.

Suddenly, something inside me said "Look up." So I did. 

Look closer at the leaves.

I was literally under a tree with heart shaped leaves!

I looked up to see that I was under a huge, lush, green, vibrant canopy of heart shaped leaves!!!

I looked down and saw fallen heart shaped leaves, most of them brown, but they were everywhere. I looked around me, and I was surrounded by those beautiful heart shaped leaves. As I type this right now, I remember that moment of realization and as I cried then, I cry again now recalling just how much He wanted to show me He loved me. He SHOWED me. With my own eyes. And the canopy was so lush and the tree was so healthy and it was huge. As I try to estimate in my head now how big it was, the canopy probably had a diameter of 6 meters. 

As I was inspecting it some more and just staring in sheer wonder and joy, I noticed one tiny yellow flower. There was just ONE flower. I scanned the entire tree and it did not have any other flowers, just that one.

Do you see the tiny yellow flower?

So I wondered what that meant. At that point, I was not ignoring things anymore. He was revealing Himself to me, His love to me, and if that tiny little yellow flower meant something, I very well intended to find out.

So I chilled for a bit, sat down, stared at it and asked God. What is that yellow flower symbolizing? Why is it alone? Is that You?

In a calm, almost like talking to a child way, I received this message.

My dear, that tiny yellow flower is you. Look at it being surrounded by all those hearts. From the north to the south, from the east to the west. Look up. Look down. Look how surrounded it is by hearts. You are a tiny little speck, and this - this massive canopy of heart shaped leaves symbolizes just how big my love is for you. 

That was it. I was undone. I will never doubt His love ever again. I took one little heart shaped leaf and placed it in between the pages of my Crazy Love book. If I forget, I prayed that He will find a way to show me that leaf so that I will remember. 

I stayed on that spot until I broke my fast. And no, it never got hot there. The shade stayed on until the sun set. I was meant to be there. Right under that tree with heart shaped leaves. 

That, I thought, was a perfect conclusion to my #SoakingSeason2018.

If Fr. Jun did not insist on transferring to Hamtic, if the sun didn't give off as much heat as it did, if the table was not set-up where it was set-up, if I accepted Dcn. Noy's offer to stay in an airconditioned room, I never would have stayed on that spot and I never would have had that revelation.

When I got back to Cebu, I prayed that I would never forget everything He has showed me in that trip. That I would always remember how it felt like. That I will keep all the things He revealed to me in my heart because it will always stay TRUE. 

And this is why I came up with this four-part blog series. I could have just summarized everything in a listicle - 20 Things I learned During #SoakingSeason2018. Even this blog series was an instruction from Him. "Write everything down," He said. "Don't miss out on any detail. I will help you remember," He continued. 

Many times, in between parts, I would tell myself that perhaps I should just stop. Perhaps I shouldn't just continue with Part 2, or Part 3, or Part 4. Nobody is probably reading it anyway. But each time, He finds ways to encourage me. 

One morning in Cebu, I was leaving the apartment when I saw some brown heart shaped leaves on the ground. My heart started to race as I followed the trail. It led to the back of our apartment compound where a stream was located. Above it was a huge tree with heart shaped leaves. 

I have been in this apartment compound for seven years now and not once did I pay attention to that tree. 

I showed you in Hamtic because you asked me to show you how much I love you. It does not mean that if you never asked, I never did. Just like that tree, My love has always been there for you. Whether you saw it or not did not change anything. I love you, always have. Always will. 

The tree was about 6 meters away from our apartment.

Heart Shaped Leaves

This was taken during our company outing on March 23, 2018 where my team was assigned to stay under this tree. Yes, it follows me wherever I am now. I was in Hamtic on February 26, almost a month prior to this photo being taken.

On April 2, before my birthday I decided to change my cover photo with a photo of the tree that showed the flower. So I had to rotate it from portrait to landscape so that it would be a perfect cover photo. Look what I found. 

Do you see it? Right where the flower is. 

The hollow part in between the leaves where the yellow flower is, do you see the shape?

Oh, how He loves us so.

Thank you for reading this blog series up until the end. To God be the glory.

I pray you get to find time to be with Him, so He can also show you in ways that you know and understand just how much He loves you.

"And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God." Ephesians 3:18-19